A friend posted Adi’s article on her Facebook wall, and I thought it was awesome and completely agree! But… it only spoke for one gender. I’d like to try provide the other half of the story.
Don’t date a guy who travels…
Don’t date a guy who travels – it will be the most demanding relationship you will have. Expect every moment with him to be filled some something random. Your weekends will be eventful. Exhaustingly eventful sometimes… and not necessarily in a bottle of tequila, late night clubbing kind of way. Never date a guy who travels because weekends will be jam-packed with a slew of decompressing activities, fired off in reckless abandon after being bound to a desk all week. He will drag you to every new eclectic experience he can find – from boxing, kayaking, gaming challenges at Dave and Busters (‘…How in heck’s name did you even find out about this?!’), to exploring the most obscure mixology hangouts in the city.
That’s because when you date a guy who travels because he will want a partner-in-crime, not someone to come home to. Not someone whom asks ‘what did you do today?’ but someone who gets lost with him while hiking – gives a rain-soaked, muddy middle finger to the fates – and laughs with him at how they got themselves into the (current) predicament. Never date a guy who travels because he will bring out your mischievous self, and he will try entice you, bribe you, and charm you into downright ludicrous ideas. He will burst excitedly into your apartment with a hair-brained scheme to cycle a 100 miles to a pub for a beer in a nearby city. Really, he will. Be ready for anything, and he probably won’t be joking (so don’t laugh too hard at first).
Don’t date a guy who travels because he is deathly allergic to picket fences. A dog, kids, a house, and a retirement fund are the antithesis of his existence. He is living for the now, and is painfully aware of the wisp of an existence he was given. His faith is rooted in experiences and borne by action: How a picture of a mountain can never capture the true sensation of your chalky fingers clutching a precipice in Queretaro; How a new leather couch can never trump being lost on foot in Barcelona at 3am; How a TV can never truly convey the camaraderie of a pick-up soccer game on a dusty field in Johannesburg.
Don’t, whatever you do, date a guy who travels if you like fluffy pillows and downy duvets. To him, possessions are constraints, silken ropes that bind him to a single location. Because of this, creature comforts are few and far between. It’s a good bet that he lives in a spartan apartment with old, hand-me-down furniture and an old, sputtery coffee-maker. All the normal luxuries, exchanged to buy spares for his eccentric form of transport (bicycle/vesper/skateboard), tickets to obscure places, and presents for beautiful strangers who helped him when he was in a fix.
Never date a guy who travels unless you plan on embracing all of this. Never date him unless you accept this wanderlust in him and his nomadic existence – it is programmed into him from birth. He will have friends strewn around the world, each whom he will introduce with ‘Oh did I tell you how we met on a street-corner in Cape Town on my way to my sister’s art classes…’ and he will tell the story every time you meet them. He will be incredibly loyal because he knows how fragile good connections are. He will pick up and move with you in a heartbeat, but he expects the same in return. Never date a guy who travels because he will want to you join in the adventures wholeheartedly.
Never date a guy who travels unless you know this.